The romantic life of a couple with a disabled child.
(I,
John Buck, being of relatively sound
mind (yeah, who am I kidding) take credit for this contribution.
THE NAUGHTY NURSE: Yeah after a kid with a disability, the whole
nurse/doctor role-playing thing will never be the same. Instead she is the b*tch who critiques you on how you handle being a
parent and not making the mark. Unlike a
spouse who will never criticize you for not making the mark :)... esp. when s/he is overtired, stressed and
covered in XX (fill in the blank but it always originates with Riley).
LOTS OF MOANING:
With a disabled child in the bed 7 feet away you will constantly hear moaning
during "the moment"... move to another room and the baby monitor will
provide the background "music."
The best part is when the diaper gets really full, you are "in the
moment"/almost at the end and there is a huge giggle/laughter in the
background. Nothing says romance like
laughter in the background.
A THREESOME :
frequent breaks "in-between" to put a pacifier back in the mouth;
change a diaper or lift a drooping head.
Trust me, a threesome is TOTALLY OVERRATED.
BEING CATHOLIC: yeah with a disabled kid you don't get that
much and probably every 2 months you get your virginity card back. One more card and I can apply for
canonization.
THE CRYING SCREAM: Back molars are coming in and no matter what
you do, cries of pain come out. The
cries are nothing like the people in "the movies." Even "the Hedge Hog" would have
backed away from that one. But, when you
are the parents of a disabled child, you plow though! Take your chances/"Embrace" the
moment (and for those of you who do know get the joke/ Do not Google
"hedge hog movies adult."
A THOUSAND AND TWO
USES FOR A BURP CLOTH: Yeah, we are
trying to keep this blog PG-13. You fill
in the blank. (Legal claimer: Any profit made for using the burp cloth in
this way will be forward to >>>> :)
COULD HAVE BEEN TWINS: My FAVORITE story... Ronan was conceived while my mother-in-law
watched Riley for 30 minutes.
Considering it took 10 minutes to get to the room. Ten minutes to get back. Five minutes to remember what the hell we
were doing. We had 5 minutes to
enjoy. His joke: Had we had 10 minutes it could have been
twins!
I SHAVED FOR THIS?: When you have a disabled kid you will be
happy that they just showered (in the past 3 days).
YOU'RE DONE ALREADY?: As a supportive/contributing husband, I took
7 minutes and wrote the above. When I
told Stacie I was finished. She replied
"you are done already?" Again,
it is amazing what you can/will/DO accomplish with a disabled child! Even without a disabled child, in the context
of this blog, it still fits!
by John Buck
