The Versatile Blogger Award for Riley's Smile

Rileys-Smile? The Versatile Blogger Award?

 

Woot!  My first award.
My little niche blog has The Versatile Blogger!

I am SO EXCITED!

Can I make this button any bigger?
How will it look on my front door?
Where shall I have my t-shirt made?
Hey, the green will go well on Riley's chair.
How will it look on our front door?

Thank you to Melanie of My Regular Life for giving me this award!

I am honored to be in your company.

Check out My Regular Life, you'll become a regular real fast.

Now - to the rules of accepting the Versatile Blogger Award:  

1. Thank the person who gave the award and link back to them in your post. 
2. Share 7 things about yourself. 
3. Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs.

7 Things about Me:

1. Born in Ankara, Turkey thanks to the US Air Force.
2. Many of my younger years were spent on an Angus Farm called Rocky Forge Farm in MD.
3. As a junior member of the Angus Cattle Association, I owned and showed the Pennsylvania State Cow & Calf Junior Champions... somewhere in the 80s:-)  No computer then to record these momentous occasions so I'll have to detail that later.
4. For several years in the early 90s I Captained the annual Will Rogers Beach Cleanup for the International Coastal Cleanup and John learned real fast how to weigh thousands of pounds of trash and organize 2000 people in moments when he came along.
5. I am passionate for wild and exotic animal rescues especially the Wildlife Waystation for allowing us the privilege of being part of their team.
6. Hopefully I will continue scuba diving with my husband for the rest of my life.
7. My Spirit Guide, described by Candyce, appears in ancient garb with long, straight dark hair.  She is adamant that I have much to learn.

Now - on to 15 recently discovered blogs in no particular order.... 
oh there are so many I enjoy.... decisions, decisions!
Check these out!!!!!!!!!!! You will be glad you visited.

1.  Butterfly Dreams
2.  CoffeeRocketFairyTale
3.  I am a broken man/You can't break me
4.  Kat's Cafe
5.  Magpie Girl
6.  Hope4Katy
7.  Single Dad/Disabled Daughter
8.  TherExtras
9.  Bug Safari - yes I have boys:-)
10.  Handbook of Nature Study
11.  Radical Ramblings and Thoughts of a Southern Girl
12.  The Perfect Line
13.  CinfulCinnamon
14.  Serendipity
15.  Makenzies Miracle
 

OH DEAR... I NEED ANOTHER AWARD...

I HAVE 15 MORE IN MIND! 

We are all special... by Stacie Wiesenbaugh

 

Take Away

The headlines of recent are too much to ignore, so a post must be written:

Md. mom who killed son agonized over school costs

Kensington tragedy blamed on MontCo school system

First, I strongly disagree with the decision made by the mother.  Her son could tell her how he felt; how he loved her; if he was in pain; if he was happy.  I know his pain by his cries.  I know his happiness by his smiles and noises.  She had more of a DIRECT relationship with her child than I will ever have, yet she felt it was not enough.  They referenced debt as a reason she took his life.  I would give everything I own for a moment where Riley could speak to me, or even smile (Riley's Smile) and know it was out of true joy and not a chemical response to all his drugs or even a fart that was funny (but that would be funny).  So in sum, I disagree with the choice she made.

Still, I know my husband and I have been there.  There are moments in time, too many moments where the decision she made would be the easy one.  My husband has prayed for the end of my son's pain, as have I, more than we care to or even can share.

I think in reading the article there are things that we can all take away from it, whether you have a disabled child or not...

1.)The first "what to take away from this"... Don't judge others.  If they are carrying "one pound of weight" or "1000 pounds of weight" everyone is different and over time, it all feels like 100,000,000 pounds.

2.) I saw she was a single mom.  While the article didn't go into her relationship with her parents, the $10,000 check in the mail was extraordinary.  I am blessed to have a mother who, while due to age cannot hold my child, loves him and supports him in MANY ways.   For many, even if support is there, it is not always enough...The second "what to take away from this"...A small act can go a long way...If you know of a parent of a special needs child, whether married or single, you can ask how they (the child or parent are doing)... This is support.  But, remember, don't judge... by society (and family) there is too much judgment in special needs kids and families.  Just ask how are you?  and listen.  Being shunned by part of society, is isolating.  Just listening is often a moment of respite/help.

3.) I had mentioned earlier about how her son could communicate and mine cannot.  I probably portrayed this as selfish.  It wasn't as much that as, honestly, jealously.  Regardless, my "thing to take away"... Appreciate what you have with the one you love, no matter what the occasion.... My husband had a "lost" father (drugs, jail, confused, alcohol, barely saw him as a child).  His dad  too took his life.  Still, after all these years my husband will share many moments he had with his dad.  They were VERY brief moments, during hard times for them both.  Still, good moments.  My third "what to take away from this" is hold on to the moments you have with those you love.

To summarize, she could no longer carry the weight of what she was facing.  She had support but was alone too much, perhaps?  Perhaps no one truly listened.  I/we will never know.  She felt she could not give her son enough.... what parent special needs or otherwise has not felt that way.

I am looking for an end to this post but cannot find one.  I guess my end to this post is that it is not my last.  The Barnhard family found their end.  My "end" will come when either "special needs" ceases to exist or when I can no longer champion the voices of those with special needs or those who care/love them.

We are all special... by Stacie Wiesenbaugh

http://www.thingsicantsay.com

 

Day Number Four

This is a reminder of the reason I blog.  This blog is not about bemoaning our situation.  It is intended to give those just on the outside of a special needs family a glimpse inside.  Hopefully, I may help give a little insight into what may be behind all that frustration, hopelessness and the closed door that they may be encountering with another special needs family.

Today it is time for Riley to return to school.  He recovers from illness so much faster than he used to, but it is still quite challenging.   He is not 100% and I am certain to hear in his report for the day that he was sleepy, snotty, coughed and was not himself.  He is being himself, just the self that is mostly reserved for home.

Today he needs to get back to activity and stimulation that I cannot provide.  Also, I need a few hours without him in my arms.  My left forearm aches from the weight of him.  I feel the rounding of my spine from hugging him to me.  A few hours rest before launching into the weekend with Riley will help it be a much more pleasant weekend for all of us.  Errands without Riley would be helpful as well.  None of this happened.  Received a call from school before 10 am while on the way to run errands; he's running a fever and must go home.  Thankfully, Jamie and Alberto at the school are willing to load the wheelchair with good spirit each time I arrive without the ramp which allows me to handle it myself.  I am very grateful that they will take the time and energy and always with kindness and gentleness.  Riley has returned home and is resting a moment... not very quietly though, lol.  But then, he wouldn't be Riley if it was quietly.  Even when he's ill... he is still the sweetest child imaginable.

Still need to get in the laundry for those sheets of Riley's.  Not one set today but two.  We have the hardest working washing machine to be found outside of a laundromat.

 Riley art work from ESE class above.

Thank you to those in our daily lives willing to spend a few moment on my blog.  It means a lot to me.  Today I am grateful to Maria at the pharmacy for the time to see what it is all about here at Riley's Smile!  Thank you Maria.

Riley's Smile Needs A Blog

  Today is March 23rd, 2011.  I have thought about why this blog should be written for a long while now.  Long enough... it's time to actually blog!

  No one should need to write this blog.  No one should need to read this blog.  But that is in a perfect world.  I need to write it and others will need to read it.  This is why... Riley and his/my family are a special needs family.  Not everyone can understand all that being a special needs family my involve.

  My primary intent is to share what it does mean to be special needs to those who are just outside of this experience but have a need to understand it.  This is going to be a challenge for me.  How do I share our experiences while not overwhelming myself and readers.  Today, that is not a problem.  I am the only "follower."  Hopefully this will change very soon.  However, if it remains me as the only reader than I have a wonderful self-therapy.

  Thank you for writing Stacie:-)