"I talk to God..."

The Mommyhood Chronicles is hosting Saturday's Top 5 Laugh's and I Remember, The Lightning and the Lightning-Bug.

My contribution is a memory from October 2008:

Where did my toddler disappear to?  Searching the house, I entered the bathroom to find Ronan laboring away seated on the small red potty.  

Seeing me, he explained that he was in there “talking to God.”  Quite seriously he went on, “I talk to God when I’m on the toilet.”    

This unexpected response left me wondering all day long how he had decided to spend his time on the toilet praying...  Each evening we recited simple prayers together and John and I each encouraged a relationship with God; however, I did not recall recommending this practice.  

Entering the bathroom, the tones of confidentiality indicated a spirituality beyond the child's prayer I had selected for Ronan each evening from The Golden Treasury of Prayers for Boys and Girls.

Mystified by this behavior, I mentioned it to my husband, John, later in the evening.  Confession time for John: Weeks earlier Ronan kept knocking on the bathroom door and asking "Daddy, what are you doing in there?"  After repeated this demand each time Daddy was found alone in the bathroom, John changed his original explanation to “talking to God.”   

Ronan has taken this as his example of how to spend his bathroom time.

We are all special... by Stacie Wiesenbaugh

The romantic life of a couple with a disabled child

The romantic life of a couple with a disabled child.

(I, John Buck, being of  relatively sound mind (yeah, who am I kidding) take credit for this contribution.

THE NAUGHTY NURSE:  Yeah after a kid with a disability, the whole nurse/doctor role-playing thing will never be the same.  Instead she is the b*tch  who critiques you on how you handle being a parent and not making the mark.  Unlike a spouse who will never criticize you for not making the mark :)...  esp. when s/he is overtired, stressed and covered in XX (fill in the blank but it always originates with Riley).

LOTS OF MOANING: With a disabled child in the bed 7 feet away you will constantly hear moaning during "the moment"... move to another room and the baby monitor will provide the background "music."  The best part is when the diaper gets really full, you are "in the moment"/almost at the end and there is a huge giggle/laughter in the background.  Nothing says romance like laughter in the background.

A THREESOME : frequent breaks "in-between" to put a pacifier back in the mouth; change a diaper or lift a drooping head.  Trust me, a threesome is TOTALLY OVERRATED.

BEING CATHOLIC:  yeah with a disabled kid you don't get that much and probably every 2 months you get your virginity card back.  One more card and I can apply for canonization.  

THE CRYING SCREAM:  Back molars are coming in and no matter what you do, cries of pain come out.  The cries are nothing like the people in "the movies."  Even "the Hedge Hog" would have backed away from that one.  But, when you are the parents of a disabled child, you plow though!  Take your chances/"Embrace" the moment (and for those of you who do know get the joke/ Do not Google "hedge hog movies adult."

A THOUSAND AND TWO USES FOR A BURP CLOTH:  Yeah, we are trying to keep this blog PG-13.  You fill in the blank.  (Legal claimer:  Any profit made for using the burp cloth in this way will be forward to >>>> :)

COULD HAVE BEEN TWINS:  My FAVORITE  story... Ronan was conceived while my mother-in-law watched Riley for 30 minutes.  Considering it took 10 minutes to get to the room.  Ten minutes to get back.  Five minutes to remember what the hell we were doing.  We had 5 minutes to enjoy.  His joke:  Had we had 10 minutes it could have been twins!

 

I SHAVED FOR THIS?:  When you have a disabled kid you will be happy that they just showered (in the past 3 days).

YOU'RE DONE ALREADY?:  As a supportive/contributing husband, I took 7 minutes and wrote the above.  When I told Stacie I was finished.  She replied "you are done already?"  Again, it is amazing what you can/will/DO accomplish with a disabled child!  Even without a disabled child, in the context of this blog, it still fits!

by John Buck

aka The Shark Tooth Guy

Link

Seizing Logic

October 19, 2008

Seizure's did not come every day or even every week during Riley's sixth year.  When a seizure did arrive, it was an Event.  Occasionally it even meant calling in paramedics and a trip to the ER to put an end to Riley's convulsions when our own medications and interventions were not enough to help him.

One day, driving my boys from one appointment to another, Ronan observed a Walgreens drugstore.  He explained to me as we drove by the landmark in his matter-of-fact three year old manner: 

“If I go to Walgreen’s, I don’t have seizure’s!” 

He had put it all together!  

He recognized Walgreens yet the McDonald's next door to it went unnoticed.  Not many three-year olds have seizure in their vocabulary or need to consider how to manage the disorder.  I laughed.  I cried.  How sad that he had to understand seizures.  How amazing that a three year old was planning how not to have seizures.  

 We are all special... by Stacie Wiesenbaugh

"I looked in Mommy's purse..."

Most places I go, someone comments to me, "I love your purse!"  This always brings me an inward laugh as I thank them for the compliment before moving on.

The evolution of my handbags.

Fashion escapes me.  John has never cared and likely prefers that I not be spending readily on clothing and accessories.  Yet there is one area of this lack of style that did need improvement in his eyes.  Early in our marriage, John announced that I should never again select my own handbag again.  In future either my mother or himself should do that for me. 

Fine with me.  It never mattered anyway as long as it suited my purposes.

When Riley came along and I was spending a great amount of time in hospitals and doctors' offices (yes, even more than now), I carried a tiny wallet sized purse on a long strap.  This was a stylish, I assume, Brighton bag gifted to me by my mom.  It suited me as I never carried much and didn't want anything in my way as I carted Riley around.  It did not even have room for my car keys which dangles from my pocket or the phone shoved in the back of my jeans.

Years later, my mother decided to replace this bag with a dark red leather backpack style handbag.  This bag, goes everywhere.  I sling it over my back or the wheelchair and stuff every necessity and list possible deep into the main pocket.  Occasionally, I will treat the leather.  Somehow, this has become the ultimate mommy purse which swallows up everything.  I do not even remember the designer name though I am certain it is a popular one and well made.

For two months I blamed my husband for the loss of our camera lense cover.  He looked everywhere.   Even admitted (as a good husband should) he had it last.  One day when cleaning out my purse, it was found in the bottom of my purse.... story continues.... Ronan lost his pencil sharpener for over a week (driving us all crazy looking for it).  Jokingly John said to Ronan "Check mommy's purse".  About an hour later Ronan whispers in John's ear "I looked, it wasn't in mommy's purse"

The new school year for Lee County begins this coming Monday.  The organizing and shopping has been complicated.  I do not take Riley out more than necessary, errands are especially avoided for obvious reasons.

Somehow I have managed to gather the majority of the required supplies for Ronan; Riley's list definitely needs work.  Ronan and I surveyed his pile comparing it to his list received from the school.  Some things needed attention and organizing, among these was  "sharpened pencils."  I instructed Ronan to locate his manual red pencil sharpener and sharpen his school pencils.

"Where is the sharpener?" Ronan asked.

This seemed obvious to me, "Check your desk and the pencil box where you keep it."

"It's not there.  I looked everywhere."  I refuse to replace something we already possess.   This was an unsatisfactory answer and over the next several days we searched for the missing bright red sharpener.


All this summer we have also missed a camera lens cover.  For two months I blamed my husband for the loss of our cover.  He looked everywhere.   Even admitted (as a good husband should) he had it last.  One day when cleaning out my purse, it was found in the bottom of my purse.... meanwhile the search for the pencil sharpener continued (driving us all crazy looking for it).  Jokingly John said to Ronan "Check mommy's purse".  About an hour later Ronan whispers in John's ear "I looked, it wasn't in mommy's purse."

So, I have become the massive purse toting mommy.  Who else have I yet to discover through my sons' eyes?

We are all special... by Stacie Wiesenbaugh









 

Daddy Ramblings: First Day of Summer School

8:01 am:  Call from neighbor “Is Stacie OK?”  Yes, I reply, “Why?”  

In response: “I saw her running down the street screaming at a bus in her night gown.”  

Me: “oh, that, yeah I noticed that too.  First day of summer school. (pause)  Went better than I hoped for.”… some time earlier….

First day of school for a Special Needs kid.  When the bus driver who never dealt with a special needs kid (or protective " mother bear" as I call them) expects kids to be waiting on the corner, even though the route is a specific address, she will do a 30 second count and quickly drive away (bus schedule).  Bus pulled up, Stacie sees it and promptly finished brushing Riley’s teeth.  Started to wheel him out/at door 15 seconds later.  Bus starts to pulls away.   

Stacie looks to first person she sees Ronan (younger son),  “Watch Riley” who then looks to me (Dad standing next to Riley~!?/chopped liver?... Ronan's expression is like "watch him do what?") I tell Ronan I will be taking him to summer camp late. 

In her momentum Stacie starts to exit with wheelchair in hand (at door!!) and quickly is out (The Greeks really should have used a wheelchair for a battering-ram). The door flies open.  Stacie is off. The bus is off.  Third time in my marriage I saw my wife actually run.  Bus pulls away.  Ronan, Riley and I standing at the door:  Ronan asks “what is mommy doing?”  I sip my coffee as we all look out the door.... Stacie (running), bus (driving) and curious neighbors (standing) on street... and I reply “being mommy.”  So begins the first day of summer program.

Again, better than I hoped for as far as first day of summer school goes.

--
John Buck
Facebook: The Shark Tooth Guy

Cerebral palsy comic!

Daddy Ramblings: Laugh Often (first installment)

A friend of ours had their child at a popular restaurant chain.  The child was screaming (severe autism).   The parent looked around and told the folks staring at them, the sight that they were, "I told them no Pickles!... he really hates Pickles"

 "Laugh Often" with Ronan is a reminder of our amazing gift to spend time in the village of Give Kids The World.

by John Buck, The Shark Tooth Guy