The romantic life of a couple with a disabled child.
(I, John Buck, being of relatively sound mind (yeah, who am I kidding) take credit for this contribution.
THE NAUGHTY NURSE: Yeah after a kid with a disability, the whole nurse/doctor role-playing thing will never be the same. Instead she is the b*tch who critiques you on how you handle being a parent and not making the mark. Unlike a spouse who will never criticize you for not making the mark :)... esp. when s/he is overtired, stressed and covered in XX (fill in the blank but it always originates with Riley).
LOTS OF MOANING: With a disabled child in the bed 7 feet away you will constantly hear moaning during "the moment"... move to another room and the baby monitor will provide the background "music." The best part is when the diaper gets really full, you are "in the moment"/almost at the end and there is a huge giggle/laughter in the background. Nothing says romance like laughter in the background.
A THREESOME : frequent breaks "in-between" to put a pacifier back in the mouth; change a diaper or lift a drooping head. Trust me, a threesome is TOTALLY OVERRATED.
BEING CATHOLIC: yeah with a disabled kid you don't get that much and probably every 2 months you get your virginity card back. One more card and I can apply for canonization.
THE CRYING SCREAM: Back molars are coming in and no matter what you do, cries of pain come out. The cries are nothing like the people in "the movies." Even "the Hedge Hog" would have backed away from that one. But, when you are the parents of a disabled child, you plow though! Take your chances/"Embrace" the moment (and for those of you who do know get the joke/ Do not Google "hedge hog movies adult."
A THOUSAND AND TWO USES FOR A BURP CLOTH: Yeah, we are trying to keep this blog PG-13. You fill in the blank. (Legal claimer: Any profit made for using the burp cloth in this way will be forward to >>>> :)
COULD HAVE BEEN TWINS: My FAVORITE story... Ronan was conceived while my mother-in-law watched Riley for 30 minutes. Considering it took 10 minutes to get to the room. Ten minutes to get back. Five minutes to remember what the hell we were doing. We had 5 minutes to enjoy. His joke: Had we had 10 minutes it could have been twins!
I SHAVED FOR THIS?: When you have a disabled kid you will be happy that they just showered (in the past 3 days).
YOU'RE DONE ALREADY?: As a supportive/contributing husband, I took 7 minutes and wrote the above. When I told Stacie I was finished. She replied "you are done already?" Again, it is amazing what you can/will/DO accomplish with a disabled child! Even without a disabled child, in the context of this blog, it still fits!
by John Buck