Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The romantic life of a couple with a disabled child

The romantic life of a couple with a disabled child.
(I, John Buck, being of  relatively sound mind (yeah, who am I kidding) take credit for this contribution.

THE NAUGHTY NURSE:  Yeah after a kid with a disability, the whole nurse/doctor role-playing thing will never be the same.  Instead she is the b*tch  who critiques you on how you handle being a parent and not making the mark.  Unlike a spouse who will never criticize you for not making the mark :)...  esp. when s/he is overtired, stressed and covered in XX (fill in the blank but it always originates with Riley).

LOTS OF MOANING: With a disabled child in the bed 7 feet away you will constantly hear moaning during "the moment"... move to another room and the baby monitor will provide the background "music."  The best part is when the diaper gets really full, you are "in the moment"/almost at the end and there is a huge giggle/laughter in the background.  Nothing says romance like laughter in the background.

A THREESOME : frequent breaks "in-between" to put a pacifier back in the mouth; change a diaper or lift a drooping head.  Trust me, a threesome is TOTALLY OVERRATED.

BEING CATHOLIC:  yeah with a disabled kid you don't get that much and probably every 2 months you get your virginity card back.  One more card and I can apply for canonization.  

THE CRYING SCREAM:  Back molars are coming in and no matter what you do, cries of pain come out.  The cries are nothing like the people in "the movies."  Even "the Hedge Hog" would have backed away from that one.  But, when you are the parents of a disabled child, you plow though!  Take your chances/"Embrace" the moment (and for those of you who do know get the joke/ Do not Google "hedge hog movies adult."

A THOUSAND AND TWO USES FOR A BURP CLOTH:  Yeah, we are trying to keep this blog PG-13.  You fill in the blank.  (Legal claimer:  Any profit made for using the burp cloth in this way will be forward to >>>> :)

COULD HAVE BEEN TWINS:  My FAVORITE  story... Ronan was conceived while my mother-in-law watched Riley for 30 minutes.  Considering it took 10 minutes to get to the room.  Ten minutes to get back.  Five minutes to remember what the hell we were doing.  We had 5 minutes to enjoy.  His joke:  Had we had 10 minutes it could have been twins!

I SHAVED FOR THIS?:  When you have a disabled kid you will be happy that they just showered (in the past 3 days).

YOU'RE DONE ALREADY?:  As a supportive/contributing husband, I took 7 minutes and wrote the above.  When I told Stacie I was finished.  She replied "you are done already?"  Again, it is amazing what you can/will/DO accomplish with a disabled child!  Even without a disabled child, in the context of this blog, it still fits!

by John Buck
aka The Shark Tooth Guy



Sara said...

Ha Ha I Love it!!!!!!!!!!

Laurel said...

I guess you gotta laugh, right? Parenthood certainly complicates everything.

Maria said...

this is absolutely hilarious. love that you can laugh at yourself. what a wondeful post. i look forward to following your story!! i've read a few posts so far and am so inspired.
thank you for visiting my site!

Theresa said...

I have to say my day didn't go as planned. But what day does as a single mom with 3 children and 1 with special needs.

But your story really made me laugh, as I soon forgot my not so happy day!!!!

Theresa said...

And I do have twins by the way!!!!

kaetysmom said...

OMG John! - this really cracked me up!! - oh how we can relate - Great to see a father find humor in the stress of our special lives :)

kaetysmom said...

I don't know if I should laugh or if I should cry. Guess it depends on our Katy's mood. Right now I'm laughing. Gotta get some dive time with ya John, up in Venice. Take care, Todd.

Sacha....xoxo said...

your story really made me laugh...

thank you for a sweet comment on my blog. that was lovely of you x

Mrs. Mama said...

omg, i love this! now i need to make MY husband do this!!

thanks for sharing :)

pglm said...

John and Stacy...this post made clear the depths of your love for each other...parenthood certainly changes things.....and after reading your post...well there are many other challenges. Ours were born twelve months and both stayed in our bed for four years....oh my i had to laugh at the moving to a different room with the baby monitor...brought back so many memories....thanks for the post...for finding the humor in spite of challenges and for showing the world what two faithful dedicated people can do together. blessings to the four of you.

Ed Hochhalter said...

I can tell by your smile how happy and proud you are to have such a wonderful child. May your husband be an example for all husbands out there.

Lynn Grant said...

Love the blog, esp. this post. We can relate 100%