Tuesday, June 7, 2011

My sons, The Optimist Awardees

How do I explain this confusion I feel today?  Ronan has been selected to receive an outstanding student award this afternoon from Optimist International.  I am about to leave for the Optimist International Youth Appreciation Ceremony at Bonita Springs Preparatory andFitness Academy.

I am so proud of Ronan for being selected among his peers for this recognition.

This also causes some sadness.

Last year at this time Riley received the same award at Rayma C. Page.  How did Riley merit this award.   Am I not giving him the recognition he deserves?  I felt very disturbed last year at this same time when Riley received the same letter.  What kind of mother is not overjoyed when her child is recognized for his perseverance and attitude.  I did not celebrate this award.  I did not pat Riley on the back and talk to him about how great he did.  I did not give him a gift or special treat for his efforts.  How could I when he never noticed he was singled out in this manner.

Now I go to a special ceremony to celebrate Ronan in a manner I was incapable of celebrating Riley.

I have tears in my eyes now and I must pull myself together and go be the supportive mom I am supposed to be.  But at the moment I dislike myself intensely.

How do I rectify these two awards to two very different children?

How do I really appreciate the achievements of both my sons?  I appreciate them, unfortunately when it comes to Riley I still have a long journey to make.  Not having to make that same emotional journey for Ronan certainly leaves me with some disappointment in myself.

Not now, heading to a ceremony and it is time to not revel in my own life disappointments.  Remember Mommy, be fully present and appreciative of the special needs child and the typical child.  I am Mommy and it is not fair for me to be wallowing.  Time to be fully present for my children.

Clearly this award would not apply to this Mommy...

The Optimist Creed

Promise Yourself ...
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Optimist Mission
By providing hope and positive vision, Optimists bring out the best in kids.

Optimist Vision
Optimist International will be recognized worldwide as the premier volunteer organization that values all children and helps them develop to their full potential. 

We are all special... Stacie

4 comments:

Pleemiller said...

dear mommy...
you are awfully hard on yourself for not being perfect. You must be doing something right if both your precious boys won such an award. Breath in...forgive yourself for your own imperfectons and walk on forward. You have done a wonderful job---I bet Riley would tell me the same thing I bet Ronan would say---
Your the greatest mom around--because you belong to them!!!!
go easy and gentle on yourself.

Have a great day of celebrating!

High Heeled Life said...

Hi there, thank you for visiting, reading my story and sweet words.

It is human to not know how to react at times. Never forget YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER ... both of these young souls choose you as their mommy , because they knew that you would take good care of them.

As you know from your own journey in life and reading other's stories like mine, life sometimes sends us on Detours (we don't understand), stay strong and be good to you too! hugs, HHL

NinaLaZina said...

I look at it like this. Sometimes people, friends family do not notice what we do, but we do it because we want to and feel good about it. Always celebrate his achievements. Be it with a cake or a raise of a glass. Make a fuss, as you will feel good and never know how much of that is actually getting through to Riley. Don't think , just do - too much thinking slows us down.

THE SARCASM GODDESS said...

Wow. I need to print that creed in big bold letters and post it next to my desk at work, where I am a big negative debbie downer.