Friday, May 27, 2011

Seizure #80

Always watching and listening for the next seizure ever since the first brutal seizure on April 21st 2004.  That day is one I never leave behind.
Have I become callous to seizures now?  What a horrible thing to have happened and thank goodness it did.  Some events simply need handling.  This is one of those events we must just get through and do our best to end it without calling for EMS or heading to the ER unless absolutely necessary.  Do understand, seeing Riley suffer is dreadful and seizing is certainly a challenge for him.  When it happens, he needs me fully present and not freaking out because he is hurting again.
It has been five weeks since seizure #79 which has been a long reprieve.  He takes quite a high dose of daily anti-seizure medications which have built up a great deal of protection for him.  He will pay for that protection in other ways down the road when the side-effects begin to take hold. 

This morning had a trigger.  He woke to a strong spasm in his ham string.   The spasm in turn brought on the clonic seize with a violent shake throughout his tiny little body.  All I could do his gather him in my arms and help work through it.  My mind working fast while attempting to bring him relief.  Diastat - no Diastat.  Emergency bag yes - no.  Sometimes the cure can be worse than the illness.  Administering Diastat would have ended his day and brought on complete lethargy.  He may not learn much in school, but he enjoys his day there and I am not going to take it away if I do not have to.  Somehow, we ended that seizure in two minutes and we carried on with our morning routine. For Riley, a two minute seizure is hardly worth noting.

Riley is an amazing child.  He goes through so much.  He recovers as best he can and gives me that smile that says he knows I try.  Off he goes to school and it will be much as every other day.

We are all special... by Stacie Wiesenbaugh

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